I am rewriting the rules of play for interacting with people on the internet because I've noticed people act irrationally.
1. Two to three days is the sensible turn-around for an email response or comment on something. Beyond that you can assume that a response is probably not coming. Never assume you know the reason why people don't reply. Life can be very complicated. I will add that it is hard to get replies from well-known people because they get inundated.
2. Be courteous. Well-thought-out communications call for a response/ communication of some kind. No one has to communicate with anyone, but be nice, kind, patient, gentle, understanding, etc. As it is written, "A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!"(Proverbs 15:23).
3. When communicating hard truths forthrightly, be gentle and understanding. Not all communications are going to be positive. It is sometimes necessary to communicate something with negative components. Imagine that you're the recipient. How would you want it worded as the receiver?
4. Don't unfriend people on social networks unless they were actually so nasty to you as to literally send you a written message which slams you with profanity and insults. Or equivalent behavior by written word or face to face in the real ordinary world. As for concerns as to whether a person is defamed and you don't want to associate, first consider if the accusations are true. If you're going to forsake someone for that reason, make sure it is a Scott Peterson level of bad behavior, where their sister could write a factual book through a reputable publishing company as to how they committed a heinous murder. People are not in control of the slander others do against them.
If someone has a complete meltdown treat it the same as an account being hacked temporarily- which is to say, give it patience and time and don't jump to conclusions. Build one another up in a spirit of encouragement, not a spirit of destruction. A ministry of reconciliation is preferable to a ministry of condemnation.
An extremely high level of relentless harassment would warrant unfriending as well. Let us say for example that you warned someone three times to stop doing something and they did not stop.
Some relationships are contractual in nature, whereby you might unfriend once a mutual agreement is breeched, terms of contract are broken, or the contractual agreement no longer has force. Romances are like this. However, I find that having to unfriend because of a contractual relationship stipulation is unusual and shouldn't happen much. If you find that you have to do that a lot, consider the possibility that maybe you're playing the field too much. Every person you unfriend is possibly a "burned bridge."
5. Don't use rating and ranking sites. They're poor quality, spurious, dubious, etc. It is equivalent to going to the Jack in the Box when you could go to the Hamburger Hamlet. Furthermore, to set up pages to rate specific people is very bad, very nasty. Don't believe the crap that is written on those sites, either.
6. Face to face communication is always better than communicating through the internet. The way to meet with people is to message on the internet first. Then, exchange phone numbers once you are comfortable. Talk on the phone. Then set up a meeting, date, or appointment by phone or by messaging. Meeting in public first is better if you don't trust the person yet. The reason is that public places are highly policed, and there are civil laws and police departments to hold people accountable. Social networks were never really in people's best interests because they actually keep people separated and under the false impression that they're actually connected.
7. It is possible to have intellectual debates through comments. This is okay, but endless arguing tends to be counterproductive. So long as it is highly, highly, highly God-glorifying, it is okay to have such discussions. It is unbiblical to engage in endless arguing without meaning, direction, or purpose.
8. Don't jump to conclusions from things on the internet. It is not the real world, it is the digital world. The digital world is prone to viruses and hacking, so people never know what's up.
9. Receiving abundant communication from one person does the recipient no physical harm (ipso facto). Sometimes it is called for for one to communicate with many words. If you don't like that someone is sending many messages, then tell them to calm down the messages.
10. Sexting is rude, vile, crass behavior and is in league with the sin that is the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh.
11. Googling people is okay, but what do you expect to find? How will you verify sources of information?The internet is a highly unregulated information channel. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If you don't like people googling you, then don't do it to others.
It is impossible to think of everything in a single sitting, but I have covered enough here to get people to think.
1. Two to three days is the sensible turn-around for an email response or comment on something. Beyond that you can assume that a response is probably not coming. Never assume you know the reason why people don't reply. Life can be very complicated. I will add that it is hard to get replies from well-known people because they get inundated.
2. Be courteous. Well-thought-out communications call for a response/ communication of some kind. No one has to communicate with anyone, but be nice, kind, patient, gentle, understanding, etc. As it is written, "A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!"(Proverbs 15:23).
3. When communicating hard truths forthrightly, be gentle and understanding. Not all communications are going to be positive. It is sometimes necessary to communicate something with negative components. Imagine that you're the recipient. How would you want it worded as the receiver?
4. Don't unfriend people on social networks unless they were actually so nasty to you as to literally send you a written message which slams you with profanity and insults. Or equivalent behavior by written word or face to face in the real ordinary world. As for concerns as to whether a person is defamed and you don't want to associate, first consider if the accusations are true. If you're going to forsake someone for that reason, make sure it is a Scott Peterson level of bad behavior, where their sister could write a factual book through a reputable publishing company as to how they committed a heinous murder. People are not in control of the slander others do against them.
If someone has a complete meltdown treat it the same as an account being hacked temporarily- which is to say, give it patience and time and don't jump to conclusions. Build one another up in a spirit of encouragement, not a spirit of destruction. A ministry of reconciliation is preferable to a ministry of condemnation.
An extremely high level of relentless harassment would warrant unfriending as well. Let us say for example that you warned someone three times to stop doing something and they did not stop.
Some relationships are contractual in nature, whereby you might unfriend once a mutual agreement is breeched, terms of contract are broken, or the contractual agreement no longer has force. Romances are like this. However, I find that having to unfriend because of a contractual relationship stipulation is unusual and shouldn't happen much. If you find that you have to do that a lot, consider the possibility that maybe you're playing the field too much. Every person you unfriend is possibly a "burned bridge."
5. Don't use rating and ranking sites. They're poor quality, spurious, dubious, etc. It is equivalent to going to the Jack in the Box when you could go to the Hamburger Hamlet. Furthermore, to set up pages to rate specific people is very bad, very nasty. Don't believe the crap that is written on those sites, either.
6. Face to face communication is always better than communicating through the internet. The way to meet with people is to message on the internet first. Then, exchange phone numbers once you are comfortable. Talk on the phone. Then set up a meeting, date, or appointment by phone or by messaging. Meeting in public first is better if you don't trust the person yet. The reason is that public places are highly policed, and there are civil laws and police departments to hold people accountable. Social networks were never really in people's best interests because they actually keep people separated and under the false impression that they're actually connected.
7. It is possible to have intellectual debates through comments. This is okay, but endless arguing tends to be counterproductive. So long as it is highly, highly, highly God-glorifying, it is okay to have such discussions. It is unbiblical to engage in endless arguing without meaning, direction, or purpose.
8. Don't jump to conclusions from things on the internet. It is not the real world, it is the digital world. The digital world is prone to viruses and hacking, so people never know what's up.
9. Receiving abundant communication from one person does the recipient no physical harm (ipso facto). Sometimes it is called for for one to communicate with many words. If you don't like that someone is sending many messages, then tell them to calm down the messages.
10. Sexting is rude, vile, crass behavior and is in league with the sin that is the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh.
11. Googling people is okay, but what do you expect to find? How will you verify sources of information?The internet is a highly unregulated information channel. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If you don't like people googling you, then don't do it to others.
It is impossible to think of everything in a single sitting, but I have covered enough here to get people to think.
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